Jul 092011

When I go out for a bike ride around the island one of my favorite routes is on Sombrero Rd. It circles around along the harbor and past fancy little McMansions while on the inside is a golf course. I am torn when it comes to using land for golf courses. On one hand, the landscaping, peaceful scenery, and all adds a pleasant view to the ride. On the other hand it seems to be a big waste of space and resources for a really stupid game. And I can never figger out how golf courses keep such green grass during a severe drought while the rest of us are under severe water restrictions.
As I said, golf seems like a really stupid game. The only rule I have been able to comprehend so far is that when you hit the little ball you are suppose to say, “Aw Shit!”. Personally I have only ever played the game once and that was enough.
I decided to try it one day just to see what all the fuss was about. I went into a place called the “Pro Shop” and asked to rent the necessary gear to play. The guy behind the counter then gave me a bag full of bent sticks and some little used balls. I know they were used as they had little dents all over them. I asked the guy for some straight sticks and some new balls without the dents but he got mad and threw me out. Not much of a “Pro” attitude if you ask me. I guess you have to be really good at golf to get the bag full of straight sticks and some new smooth balls.
Anyways I could not figure out the appeal of the game. I started whacking the little dented ball with the bent stick and every damn time I hit the stupid ball it rolled into a hole. This happened like 18 times! Luckily they had marked the holes with a flag so you could find your ball but you would think with all the money they spent on landscaping they could have at least filled the holes up. It really distracted from the game. And they could have made the whole course a bit smaller. I about had a heart attack running them 18 bases.
So that was the first and last time I ever played golf. I was not impressed. The only thing dumber than playin that game is watching others play it. No thanks.
The Fritter
Oh yeah, as I was playing I did the Pro shop a favor and filled up all the little holes with some sand that was nearby. Hope they appreciated it.

  One Response to “Golf…the world’s dumbest game…”

  1. you are too hilarious.
    am still holding your beer you crazy fritter you.