Aug 142011

My little experiment in minimalism has been very successful so far. I am almost where I want to be in terms of how much crap I own and need to keep my little tropical empire afloat. But I have also taken a bit of another take on minimalism in regards to relationships and contacts.
I have taken a long hard look at all my past friendships, relations, co workers, and that very special group, my ex girlfriends, also known as the bitches, sluts, and whores, but I’m not bitter. A little tart perhaps, but not bitter.
Anyways, I looked at all the people I have known in my life and realized that there are about 2 dozen who mean anything to me. The rest, could care less if I lived or died. I may have been a friend with them at one time, worked with them, went to school with them, but now they and I are distant memories.
It’s amazing how at one time you could be best friends with someone. Did all sorts of things together, and now, not even know where they live or if they are even still alive. I was best man at a friends wedding once. Now I have no idea if they.are still married. Facebook, when I was on it, helped make contact with some of these people. But after the initial, “Hi, good to hear from you again.” we both soon realized that all we had in common was some pleasant memories from days gone by. They have gone their way and I have gone mine.
I used to live in Delaware before I moved to Florida back in the ’70’s, 1970’s smart ass. When I lived there I was in with a group of friends who played volleyball every day on the beach. We had a blast during the summer. Volleyball, parties, lots of fun. When I left for Florida I never saw or heard from them again. It’s so easy to lose touch with people. A lot of it is my fault. I move a lot from here to there. I know some people who never moved away from the place they grew up. Just stayed there for the rest of their lives. I could never do that. I get bored after a while and get the urge to see what’s over the next horizon.
Co workers were never real friends. They were friendly because we worked together. But when it came to career advancement, there was no friendship. Bosses and managers were the worst kind of “friends”. They tell you how valuable you are and how they appreciate all you do but wouldn’t allow you in their own homes.
I grew up as an only child. No brothers or sisters meant I spent a lot of time alone and over the years got used to it. To this day I refuse to have a room mate and if I ever had to go on the road to a convention or seminar for whatever job I was working at the time, I would insist on my own hotel room. Just never got used to living with someone else when I left home.
And, as you may have guessed, I have never been married.

That’s right ladies, the Fritter is single!

And no, I ain’t gay, I have enough trouble dealing with rejection from one sex let alone two. I simply do not have the patience or willpower to put into a long term relationship. As I get older I get more set in my ways and more unwilling to compromise. I know, call it a weakness. But I sleep better at night.
It may sound like I am leading a lonely miserable existence. Well yeah, but so what. It is what I like. I went thru all my contacts and deleted all but the few that have any meaning or importance in my life. Relatives, and some very close friends that I can rely on in pinch and they can always rely on me. Not very many of them but it keeps things simple. I will probably meet new friends along the way but to be honest, right now, with the financial difficulties I am having, and struggling to stay afloat, I don’t need any major involvement with other people at the moment. When you start being close to someone you get dragged into their lives and you lose focus on what you are trying to do and right now I really need to focus.
So in addition to getting rid of material possession and whittling them down to the bare essentials, I am doing the same thing with relationships and staying in touch with only those select few who matter in my life. And as for the ex girlfriends, well, it ain’t nice to talk ill of the dead…heheheh.
The Fritter

  2 Responses to “Minimalism and relationships…”

  1. see…
    i second my motion on your book.
    if puzzled, read the comment on the “i haz arrived…”

    • All in due time. Great works of literature take time, patience, planning, and rum, lots and lots of rum.