Jun 042012

There seems to be some doubt about the veracity of the photo I posted previously of the mosquito so I guess I should come clean and confess.  Ok, the picture in question is in fact not a mosquito, but a hummingator.  What is a hummingator you ask?  Read on:

I don't know who took this photo but if you are out there and happen upon this blog please let me know so I can properly credit you and your bravery.

The hummingator (bovinium fecalius) is the result of the unfortunate mating of the common hummingbird with the North American alligator.  The hummingator ranges in size anywhere from about 2″  to about 18′ in length.  They can be spotted in their natural habitat in the Everglades or the Keys, flitting around from flower to flower sucking in the nectar, and then swooping down on any unsuspecting prey from small mice to full grown humans, grabbing them with their powerful jaws built like steel traps and carrying the prey off to be ripped apart and eaten using their razor sharp teeth.

A juvenile hummingator...from the noted biology/scientific website Icanhazcheeseburger.com

If you can find one young enough, a hummingator can be tamed and makes a great pet but be careful.  They will sit on your shoulder like a parrot but have a tendency to chomp off a person’s ear in a single bite when they are in a playful mood.

Hummingators are considered a delicacy.  Hummingator kabobs are a favorite, deep fried on a stick and dipped in a honey sauce.  I usually order them as a side when I have the endangered species platter at any of the numerous waterfront restaurants in the Keys.

Be very careful if you happen to encounter a full grown hummingator in the wild.  They are quite dangerous and can cause serious injury with their bite.

Capt.  Fritter

WHAT?  You don’t believe me?  Would I lie to you?  There is no such thing as hummingator yet you believe in a lion fish or a horse radish?  Never doubt the Fritter.

  4 Responses to “The hummingator…”

  1. ahem. you forgot the texas jackalope.
    cross between an antelope and a jack rabbit. bunnies with nasty sharp horns.

  2. I’m blaming this on Gay Marrage !! All those Jesus nuts where right!!! What’s next ???? Lol

  3. Haha – this was an awesome post! Now I understand your “hummingator fritters” reply to my post. 🙂