Dec 202015

Every year around this time I get a great big ole box of goodness from up north.  Homemade cookies in 4 different flavors, and of course lots of delicious chocolate candy.  It’s one of the few things I look forward too in an otherwise bleak, depressing, and hopeless time of the year.  But I don’t dwell on it….much.

This year’s haul included chocolate bells, M & M’s, assorted small candy bars, marshmallow santa’s with dark chocolate, (far superior to milk chocolate.  Don’t argue.  I’m an expert.), and of course, one of my all time favorites, Peanut Butter Meltaways, the peanut butter cup to which all others can only hope to copy.  But with all this chocolatey teeth rotting goodness, there is a problem, and it has nothing to do with sugar comas or diabetic inducing strokes.

The problem with chocolate in Key West is the weather.  Namely, it’s so warm and humid, most chocolate confectionaries cannot survive the heat.  Instead of holding their shape, texture, and taste, most candies will melt into gelatinous brown blobs, a mere shadow of what they started out as.  It can be a rather vexing issue when one is looking forward to stuffing one’s face with a few pounds of processed sugar and cocoa.  However, there are two very simple solutions to said melting problem.

One.  Eat all the damn candy at once.  Just sit down in the middle of the floor with the boxes open, reach down, grab a handful, and enjoy.  You won’t have to worry about melting and later when you are released from the hospital, you won’t have any leftovers to worry about, just keep the insulin drip going and you’ll be fine.

B.  Freeze it.  While bingeing on several pounds of chocolate sounds like a really cool way to spend a Saturday night, sometimes it’s more better to spread the wealth over a longer period of time and reduce the risk of a sugar induced heart attack.  By freezing said treats, they retain their shape, texture, and flavor and are more fun to eat, especially when it’s particularly warm out.

I usually go with B, which is why I am still alive and writing this blog.  I love to freeze up said goodies and enjoy them at my leisure.  The Peanut Butter Meltaways in particular are extremely more better when frozen.  Like eating a chocolate ice cube.  The flavor stays with you a lot longer and you can enjoy the experience more than trying to lick up a soggy brown mess from the wrapper.  And less clean up afterwards.

The candy companies are aware of said melting problem.  In fact, the purveyors of said Meltaways won’t even ship during the warm summer months.   Here in the extreme south we have to be even more careful.  Despite the fact a cold front came through and as I write this, Key West is in the grip of freezing 75 degree temps, it will warm up quickly into the 80’s in a day or two.  So getting said treats is limited to the winter months which makes them all the more special when they arrive.

But even up north, even when it’s cold, it’s still a treat to toss those sweet, sweet, cubes of goodness in the fridge and enjoy them later.  Well worth it.  Go ahead and try it.  You’ll see what I mean.

As for the pile of delicious crap I got this week, I fully intend to enjoy every savory bite.  Just try and stop me.

Capt. Fritter

  One Response to “Freeze Your Chocolate…”

  1. We recently got some mini Belgian cream puffs. They come frozen. I didn’t wait for the first batch to thaw. But I thawed the last of them. Turns out, I like them better frozen. But chocolate sometimes turned weird when you freeze it so I try not to have to do that. But that’s better than either of the other options in Key West so I’d go for it.