Feb 142016

Seriously.  We need to sit down and reboot the entire year.  Shit can all the current holidays and start over again from scratch.  And the rules should be:

Only one holiday per month.

No preparing for said holiday until the previous one has passed.  Meaning you won’t find xmas shit in the stores in August.

Right after the new year, I walked into the $ Store and side by side there was Valentines Day shit, St. Patricks Day crap, and Easter garbage.  With close out sales on xmas junk.  It’s getting ridiculous.

The current crop of holidays have long lost their original meaning.  Now every one is an excuse for the corporate warlords to launch sales gimmicks, ad campaigns, and sell more worthless shit to everyone.  And today is one of the very worst…Valentines Day.

Pardon me while I go throw up for a minute.

I went over to the store yesterday to pick up a few things and it was a madhouse as men were apparently trying to salvage their relationships which were solely dependent on how much they spent on flowers, candy, and dinners. It was sad.

I’ve heard wimmen talk in the past about how they were going to rain hell upon their ‘love of their lives’, if said luv didn’t come through properly with all the right shit to appease them.  Nice way to define a relationship.

Personally, I make it habit when, in those very rare times, I am in any kind of relationship, to make sure it’s over and done with before Feb. 14th comes around. Hey, it just makes good economic sense.

That’s right ladies!  I’m single!

Nowadays, when the hearts and flowers appear, I don’t rush out and spend any money. I just take a leisurely stroll, back in the woods, by the unmarked graves, and smile.

Ah, memories.

Capt. Fritter

At least I ain’t bitter…just a little tart.

  2 Responses to “We Need Some New More Better Holidays…”

  1. Can we name those holidays after their month? And have them on the fourth Friday so we have time to get ready for them? So its the January Fourth Friday, etc.? Even better the Fifth Friday so they don’t come around as often? Dave and I pretty much ignore all holidays anyway but with Fifth Fridays others won’t have as many chances to try to lay guilt trips on us.

    • I like it!

      I ignore the holidays too, but the problem is, banks and other businesses observe them, making it difficult get anything done.

      C. F.