Look at this monstrosity.
I’ve been told it is a, “pie”. But I don’t see any evidence of Key Lime. Do you see any Key Lime? I don’t. It’s because there ain’t any. Key Lime pie is yellow, not red. And what’s with the criss cross design on the top? Is it crust? On top of whatever the hell this thing is?
I asked and they said it was made with something called, “cherries”. Cherries. In a pie. What next? Apples? This place is so goddammed uncivilized. I need to get back to the islands. Fast.