Sep 232016

6000 miles.  It’s not far enough.  Halfway around the world in the middle of the largest ocean on the planet, and I still have to deal with corporate bullshit back on the mainland.

I use several accounts for finances.  Things like banks, and other nefarious entities.  My address is still based in Key West along with my phone numbers, etc.  So when I go on a trip, I send a friendly travel alert out to said entities informing them I will be traveling to other places, and they can expect to see charges on my account located in said places.  The premise is a no brainer, which I have come to believe is a job requirement for any worker bee who wants to work for these idiots.  Let them know my usual spending habits will change and the charges from the other places will be legit.

For the most part, I got nice and polite answers.  “Have a nice trip to Maui!”, “Wish we were going with you.”, “Leave my wife alone.”  (The last one is kinda confusing because they never signed it.)  Anyways, most everyone was cooperative and thanked me for giving them a heads up.  Except for one entity.

I’m not going to name fingers nor point names here, we’ll let them remain anonymous for various personal reasons, but said entity immediately started a line of bullshit which I am still sifting through weeks later after the initial notice.

I got an obvious canned and scripted response from them stating I needed to be sure to update my address, phone number to ensure my mailed statements would arrive on time.  I ‘splained in very simple terms the trip was not permanent (yet) and I was not needing to change my address, nor phone number, and all my statements I get are online, not by snail mail.

The second reply was even more confusing and pretty much repeated the same things, address, phone, blah-blah-blah.  I left it go from there figgering they were too wrapped up in their corporate rule book to understand the simplicity of what I was trying to convey.  Until this week.

I attempted to pay up a new subscription for an online service which had come due.  I’ve paid for this service before using the same account.  The payment was refused.  I was not happy.  It took 3 days to get the damn thing paid using another method and they even tried to double bill me, which has made me even less happy.  It took all week to get it straightened out.

I also got a nice message from the idiots at the financial institution who suddenly cannot process normal charges about my account.  “Suspicious charges” were suspected and I was ordered to call immediately to ‘splain what was going on lest my account be put on double secret probation or something.

Again, I had to slowly detail to those who are unfamiliar with things like time zones and distance, I was 6000 miles away and 6 time zones behind their stupid asses.  I demanded they message me the suspect charges.  And they did.

The suspect charges were of course, the refused renewal of my subscription, but also another charge for another legitimate subscription which I have been paying every month for the last 6 years, along with a grocery bill for the local grocerteria here in Maui, right where I informed them weeks ago I was heading and to expect such charges.

The corporate worker bees said ok and returned my account to normal but it has left a very bad taste in my mouth.  Come next week they will get a new surprise when I close said account and no longer do business with them.  I won’t tolerate incompetence anymore.  All the other entities knew exactly what I meant when I said I was going for an extended trip to Hawaii.  These dumbasses are too entwined in their little corporate world to understand plain English.

I despise having to deal with corporate bureaucracy.  It is so unnecessary yet the corporate world insists on taking the most easiest transactions and making them more complicated than it’s worth.  The worker bees are trained to work from a handbook and a script when dealing with any customer and never, ever deviate from said script.  Their whole purpose is to find more ways to take and keep your money, nothing else.  Common sense and simplicity never come into play.

Even out here in the middle of the end of the world, the corporate warlords still manage to make life stressful.  At least in this case, I was able to get things resolved without cost to me, and I have alternatives I can use to avoid any future confrontations.  In the meantime I will continue to avoid as much interaction with corporations as I possibly can.

Even with the more better lifestyle here in Maui, there will always be some son of bitch who insists on creating stress.  6000 miles is not far enough.

I wonder how far it is to Bora Bora?

Capt. Fritter

  2 Responses to “Not Far Enough…”

  1. Wait until you see the offers they will give you to come back and do business with them again. Why can’t they give such offers to existing customers?

  2. it sounds to me like you need to minimalize your financial affairs.
    for a minimalist like yourself the sound way too complicated!
    and as linda says…
    now that you’re no longer with them they will waste many many trees trying to get you back.
    it’s all very unnecessary and stupid.