Mar 162017

Ever since the beginning of the year, I have been dealing with a multitude of mind numbing, stress rising, anger inducing,  overly complicated, and red tapey entities.  Banks, government agencies, more banks, online accounts, all in vain attempts to just obtain Hawaiian citizenship, get my finances on track, straighten out some minor web stuff, and move on peacefully.  But no.  Not happening.  Just when I think I have everything set up and moving along smoothly, another obstacle turns up.  And it’s starting to take it’s toll.

The worst of the worst has been the banks.  I am trying to shuffle everything from 4, count them 4, different bank accounts into one.  It was just 3 accounts but one bank decided to make some changes resulting in new account numbers and causing major delays in my being able to redirect deposits and make payments.  They will be gone soon.  I hope.  The biggest problem with banks, other then being banks, is while you can do things online, and at most anytime of the day or night, banks themselves still operate on a 9-to-5-closed-on-weekends-and-every-two-bit-stupid-holiday-known-to-mankind schedule.  To get anything done always takes 7-10 business days.  Meaning if there is a weekend or even more worse, a weekend with a holiday on Monday, said transaction will take two weeks to complete.  Except when you are paying someone.  Then the banks take the money out immediately.  It’s 2017 yet these obsolete entities continue to operate like it’s the 1930’s.

Government agencies are not much more better.  They close at the drop of hat for any reason and to make matters worse, their employees are not held accountable because said agencies are rarely for profit like a regular corporation.  So the employees stick to the script when it comes to schedules, time off, breaks, and any other excuse to not do what they are actually supposed to do.

The websites for most of these entities are a maze of useless information packed around the vital shit you need to know.  Everyone is using two step verification now, which is fine for security, but when one is using multiple accounts, with multiple ids, with multiple passcodes, and multiple id questions, it gets confusing as hell trying to remember which logins are which.  As a result, getting accounts blocked becomes quite common.  Then the only recourse is to try and contact a living, breathing human.  A whole other exercise in futility.

Making a call to a live person involves a string of prerecorded bullshit by a disembodied robot voice, prompts using voice recognition which rarely work, endless menus which lead you to dead ends, and eventually an hour’s wait time listening to really bad music until you reach a live human.  I’ve wasted entire mornings just trying to get the simplest things done.

Drivers license, bank accounts, changes of address, it’s been one fun stressful battle after another.  You know things are getting out of hand when your income tax returns are the easiest thing to take care of in all this mess.  And I’m not done yet.

Opening accounts to all these bastards is pretty easy.  But once in the system making changes becomes more complicated.  Even worse though, is trying to close an account.  Some entities simply will not allow you to leave.  Corporations assume ownership of you when you join their little empires and they never want to let you go.  They may, ‘deactivate’ an account, but delete?  Forget it.  Banks are one of the worst.   You could close an account but if some stray payment turns up they will immediately reopen the account and even charge extra fees if you don’t have the funds in there.

I have two accounts yet to close and it will probably take 2 to 4 months to settle it all.  I’m still dealing with moving things to the one bank which will take 2 more months to get done.  I fully expect more delays, excuses, and other bureaucratic nonsense to come into play as I try to finish all this bullshit.  It has taken it’s toll on me, causing a lot of stress when everything else is going so nicely.  Hopefully, it will all be done soon and I can relax again.  If not, it will be cutlass and cannon time.

Capt. Fritter

  2 Responses to “Bureaucratic Burnout…”

  1. In answer to a comment which will remain unpublished but has merit…I had a single bank account in the Keys. And it took awhile to settle on this one. The one I had previously was fine but got bought out 3 different times during the banking crisis of 8 years ago. With each new owner, more rules came into place and it became a nightmare to use. The current bank in the Keys I use is a regional bank and was more than adequate for my needs when I lived there. But once I began to travel I found it was difficult to utilize said bank for even the most simple transactions. Even when I gave them alerts I would be traveling I would still find my debit card locked until I could contact the idiots and be able to use it again.
    So, I added a second bank, an internet bank which allowed more freedom to travel. It worked fine at first but little issues began to crop up. I could not even deposit a check online at times, instead having to use the old bank and then transfer funds. A real time consuming pain in the ass.
    The final straw came about a month ago when the internet bank changed owners meaning I had to change all my account numbers with the various entities I do business with…again. I’m still dealing with delays and interruptions thanks to their changes. It was then, right after I got my Hawaii DL I decided to just get a bank account out here and close the others down which is where I stand now. I’m still dealing with delays and other mindless bureaucratic nonsense but if all goes well, by summer I should be back to one and only one bank account. I hope.
    Believe me, I’ve done the research. If I thought I could get away without the need for a bank, I would do so, but right now, it’s not a viable option. I’ve had my fill of this shit and would be perfectly happy to not use any bank. But not yet.
    C. F.

  2. no more red tape ties to the mainland.
    I call that minimalist GOOD! kudos. and good riddance.