So, What If It Had Been The Real Thing…

The dust has settled.  The kids are out of the sewers.  Everyone has clean underwear again.  Hawaii is back to normal, sort of.

The official story is someone, a person who has yet to be identified so as to protect his ass, pressed the wrong button, made the wrong selection from a drop down menu, or whatever, sending out the infamous notification of an inbound missile heading for the islands.  The result was 38 minutes of not happy, serene, tropical paradise as people, particularly in Honolulu, the presumed ground zero, seriously lost their shit.  As it turns out, there was no attack, no threat, but the fact it took 38 fucking minutes to tell everyone is unforgivable.  And it could have been much more worse.

But what if it had been real?  What if there really was a nuclear missile inbound?  What then?  If reports coming in are true, our government was totally and completely unprepared as to what to do next.  While the military knew immediately there was no attack, what would they have done if there was said attack?  Look to the Commander in Chief?  His fat assholiness was busy waddling around a fucking golf course in Florida when all this went down.  He didn’t stop playing golf, didn’t go to some ready room for intel, and he sure as hell didn’t interrupt his weekend to get on the air to assure the nation all was well.  As if anything this racist stablegenius™ could say would be reassuring.  All he did was show he was incapable of leadership during a time on crisis.

If nothing else, this accident showed how ill prepared this country is in the event it is actually attacked and you can bet enemies from all over the world were taking notes.  We may have one of the greatest military forces in the history of the world but it don’t mean shit if the leader is a petulant child with questionable mental abilities and only able to string sentences 140 (or 280) characters at a time.  Nope.  Had this attack been real, most of Oahu would probably be nothing but radioactive dust right now.  And quite possibly a lot more missiles would be flying around the planet.

The local rags are running stories about what to do and how to survive an actual nuclear war.  Here is a tip.  There is no surviving a nuclear war.  You may have ideas about hiding in shelters or going up in the hills, but the fact is, in some way, you are going to die when the bombs start falling.  How?  Leave us count the ways:

If you happen to be at ground zero when a nuclear weapon goes off, you have nothing to worry about.  You will be vaporized in milliseconds. You won’t feel a thing either.  Just a ‘poof’ and your atoms are scattered to the four winds.  As deaths from nuclear annihilation go, this is the more better of them all.  Quick and painless.

If you don’t get vaporized, then the ensuing fireball will get you.  This will probably be more painful and you may have time to see it coming.  Not much you can do except stand there and fry.

If the fireball don’t get you then all the debris blowing around will.  Shards of glass, concrete, steel, kids being thrown from sewers.  Duck and cover if you can, you’ll still get crushed to death.

Afterwards there is the pleasant experience of radiation.  Ask anyone from Hiroshima or Nagasaki how it worked out for them.  Your outsides will blister and peel and bleed.  Your insides will turn to mush.  Pretty painful way to go.

Assuming you survived the blast or were far enough away, or stayed in a shelter, now you have to deal with the aftermath.  Besides all the wreckage and radiation, food and water will be in short supply.  There will be no infrastructure.  Stores will be empty.  Money will be useless.  Medical aid will be non existent.

But the worst is yet to come…other people.  We like to think we are civilized with our fancy cars, nice clothes, and air conditioning.  But down deep, people are scum.  And they will become animals the moment the food and water runs out.  Don’t believe me?  Look at how people act during Black Friday.  People stomped, trampled, and beat each other over trinkets and toys.  Try to imagine how they would act when there is no food nor water.

You may think you can survive, having hoarded some energy bars and a few extra clips of ammo for the hunting rifle in your closet, but you can bet, when the dust is settled, there will be mass chaos and total confusion across the land.  People will kill you without hesitation for some moldy bread and a drink of water.  Any freedoms you thought you had will be gone as the government enacts martial law.  Make no mistake about it, you will not survive.

And yet, with all the bad of nuclear war, all it’s harm, how far back it will set mankind, there are still idiots who think it’s a solution.  Corporate dictators who see nothing but profits from arm sales, tyrants who think they are gods, and mentally deficient child like racists put in office by a clueless electorate have no compunction about pushing the wrong button for real, and setting off armageddon.

We dodged a big ass bullet over the weekend not just in Hawaii but the rest of the world.  It would have been very easy for the trumpenführer or some other ‘leader’ to have taken the moment the alert went off, and decide to retaliate with a full strike.  We’ve come close to the brink before and one of these days, it will happen for real.  Not much we can do except toss the kids in the sewer and kiss our asses goodbye.

Capt. Fritter

2 Replies to “So, What If It Had Been The Real Thing…”

  1. and to think we were taught as kids to “get under your desk and be like a turtle!.”
    standard nuclear attack school procedure during the cold war.
    we have three very egotistical hotheads goading each other now ready to push their “bigger” buttons.
    little playground bullies each one of them… “bet I can blow up the world better and quicker than you can!”
    but I’ve decided to refuse to play their mental game in my own life.
    fear and negativity over scare tactics can be an insidious poison. like taking a little bit of arsenic each day.
    so… Meh! live on and love and know peace. where are all the old hippies when we need them?

Comments are closed.