How about some other things like:

Blind obedience to authority…right or wrong.

Lying to customers.

Gender discrimination.

Wages unfit to live on.

Toeing the company line.

Disregard for safety.

Worker exploitation.

No layoffs?  Sure, when you hire temp and part time workers with 3 month contracts, they don’t count as layoffs when they are gone.  It’s also a handy way to get around paying out all those pesky benefits.  I’m sure that if they could, Walmart would replace every employee in their stores with a robot who could stock the shelves and clean up the piss in the aisles.   But what do I know?  I never worked at Walmart.  What say we let those who have worked there share their experiences, shall we?   Start with this blog…

Working at Walmart, it’s a short blog of only 29 posts over two months but read it all.  You may never shop there again after reading it.  And you sure as hell won’t have any respect for anyone who has debased themselves by working there.   Pity perhaps, but no respect.

Read up on some of these other experiences here:

Walmart is not the place to work.

Walmart Sucks.

Walmart Hell.

The list goes on and on.  Walmart is successful because they manage to squeeze every last penny out of everything they touch.  From the hired help, the suppliers, and lastly of course, the wonderful customers who shop there without any regard for anything but the bottom line.  Nothing, nobody, no reason will ever convince me of any good Walmart has provided.  As for the people who work or shop there, it is their decision to do so and they must live with the consequences.  There are better choices in life and if you believe some soul sucking place like Walmart is your only choice you have some serious educating to catch up on.

This is the last post on this subject.  Time to move on to better things.

Capt. Fritter

Okay, release the flame wars in the comments!

A couple of years ago when I started up my paddle board business social media was the hot topic.  You had to be on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, and any other social media outlet you could find.  And join them all I did.  Even found a couple geared towards the paddle industry.  ”You need to be on there.”, they said.  ”It’s a great way to get your business out there.”, and it did work up to a point.  Before I knew it I had hundreds of friends…of which I actually knew about 10.  I ran some ads with very little success, posted constantly with photos and such.  But it got to be a pain in the ass.  I found myself on there all the time when I could have been doing other more productive things.  I saw some friends who were chronicling virtually every minute of their lives on there.  When I closed down the business I closed down Facebook too, along with all the others.  I had enough.  Facebook continually changed the rules of the game making the information out the members put out there more and more accessible to third party interests.  Advertising is the big revenue source and the push was on to stick more ads in everyone’s faces.  Facebook has slowly created it’s own little world, 900 members strong and getting bigger.  They kept pushing the envelope trying to make members more and more dependent on the service.  I liken it to a casino where there are no clocks, no windows, no outside distractions.  They want to keep you there all day and night.

I had enough finally and dropped out.  Turns out I’m not alone and we have a name now…RESISTERS.  There are the usual suspects who refuse to concede to the demands of Facebook.  Older folks who don’t know it or understand it.  People like myself who got tired of it.  Many in the minimalism lifestyle have dropped out too.  We may well end up being left in the dust when the whole Facebook Collective flys off to some alien digital world to start a new civilization but I can live with that.  I haven’t had the desire to rejoin and become one of the happy minion.  I realize I’m neglecting a real audience who could be introduced to the magic of ManateeFritters but as you may have guessed by now,  I sort of fritter to a different drumbeat.

As for the other social media outlets, I tried Twitter again last winter with disastrous results.  Within a week people were using my handle to link to porn sites and other goodies.  I don’t need that sort of aggravation.

I have no idea where Facebook will go from here.  On one hand in a few years we may be under some government mandate to join in order to qualify for services.  On the other hand Facebook may not even exist in ten years.  Either way, I’ll move on with out them.  Don’t need them, don’t want them.

Capt. Fritter

…….um……..er……

Ok, easy enough now how about the bad.  (Oooh, I ‘m going to need some more bandwidth for this one).  Ok ok, let’s try again as I rustle up some fake sincerity here.  What does Walmart do that is good?

They provide a variety of cheap goods for the masses in many categories all under one convenient roof.

They provide jobs.

Give them real genuine credit for this one…they are endeavoring to green up their stores by adding in solar power where feasible and taking an active interest in the environment.  Kudos for that.

As for the bad?  Well, let’s start with some easy stuff like this…

People of Walmart

or this…

Or how about this one…Man bitten by rattlesnake at Walmart.  I don’t know about anyone else but if I’m shopping the garden section I’d prefer to not have any encounters with deadly poisonous vipers…I can go visit my ex girlfriend for that.

Trust me we are just scratching the surface here.  Let’s dig a little bit deeper.

Cheap goods are the mainstay of Walmart.  It is what enabled this chain to become the creature of retail that it has become.  People do vote with their wallets and they flock like sheep to where ever the cheapest grass is.  There is no disputing that.  No little Mom n Pop store will compete for any length of time against the buying power of big corporations like Walmart.  But take a closer look at what’s in the aisles besides the blood, vomit, and dirty used needles.  Cheap, poorly made, low quality crap.  Junk that a couple decades ago wouldn’t meet the standards of a homeless person.  But shiny it up, put a cheap price on it, and suddenly it’s a bargain.  Market it, package it, display it just right, and people will stampede your door to get it.  Remember this?  People no longer care about quality.  It’s all about price.  Don’t matter if you need it or not.  It’s cheap.  Buy it.  Give Walmart credit for recognizing this fact and taking full advantage of it.

The foreign manufacturing market has helped Walmart get to where it is today.  Most everything you buy there is made in China.  Used to be, back in the day, the running gag was anything “Made in Japan” was considered to be junk.  Japan was trying to rebuild after the unpleasantness of the 1940′s so they set up manufacturing companies to take advantage of the cheap labor and ship that junk back to the U.S.  Now it’s China doing the same thing.  It’s rare that you find anything made in the U.S. and if you do, the price reflects that fact thanks to our high standards of living and wages.  And speaking of wages…

What about all those jobs that Walmart provides?  Those wondrous and illustrious careers in things like cashier management, stock clerk, and my personal favorite…the Walmart Greeter.  People like to brag about how much pride there is in having a job, contributing to society by working, starting at the bottom and working your way up the corporate ladder.  Go take a long look at the people who work at Walmart or any of those type of retail chain stores.  Look closely at their faces and watch them.  That ain’t pride you see in their bloodshot eyes.  There ain’t no bragging about these jobs.  What you are seeing is any combination of the following:  regret, resignation, a sense of failure, the realization that things won’t be any better tomorrow or the day after.  Chances of promotion or increases in pay are few and far between.  Punishments for even the slightest infraction are swift and severe.  Goals are always set to be juuuuust out of reach and the push to do more for the company always supersedes any personal aspirations for success.  You can see it in the worker bee’s faces, their attitudes, their appearance.  These jobs are throw aways.  The kind you take “to keep the peanut on the table” as one of my favorite stalkers  commenters likes to say.  There are no career aspirations here.  It’s just a dirty paycheck to get you through life while you wait for something better to come along.  Sure, the corporation may dangle a carrot out now and then.  Some promised benefits like health insurance, paid holidays, or maybe even a management position.  All of which come with some sort of strings attached.  Are they real jobs?  Sure, in that they pay out money for services rendered.  Are they careers?  No.  You never see anyone sitting in a bar bragging to everyone that they work at Walmart.  (You will however see a lot of people getting drunk in bars BECAUSE they work at Walmart.)

Walmart though is just the tip of the iceberg.  This country has gone through some serious fundamental changes over the past century when it comes to shopping.  We started out with little local one off stores.   The corner drugstore, the local grocery, the department store, the 5 and dime.  They soon gave way to the malls where all the stores were in one place.  Then the big box stores moved in….Walmart, Home Depot, Best Buy.  All homogenized, cloned, and placed in strategic spots near the suburbs.  The trend has crossed many facets.  Need hardware, go to Home Depot or Lowes, need electronics, Best Buy.  It’s even hit lesser markets.  Want outdoor sportmans stuff, head for Bass Pro.  Need boat stuff, West Marine.  Each chain follows the same pattern.  Lots of stores across the country.  All look almost exactly alike inside and out.  All carry the same merchandise with the only variations depending on locations…(You won’t find much in the way of snow removal equipment in the Home Depot here in Key West).  Fast food joints do the same thing.  In fact, I would say McDonalds was one of the first to adopt this business model.  It is guaranteed that you can go to virtually any village, town or city and find a Walmart, a McDonalds, or a Home Depot.  It’s also guaranteed that you can walk into any of these stores and see the exact same merchandise that you would see anywhere else.  Used to be you could travel someplace and go into a store and find new and exciting things that you couldn’t find back home.  That adventure is pretty much gone now.

This very point was brought up to me one day when I was working with some European customers.  They said that in the U.S. every city looked exactly the same and they were right to certain degree.  What ever made a particular city unique was limited to a very small area of that city.  Once you get beyond that central area you see a certain sameness come into play.  The strip malls, the shopping centers, and the very same chain stores that you see every where else.  There is no individuality anymore.  It’s all big corporations running the show.

Walmart may well be one of the top retailers in the world.  Their business model has succeeded beyond Sam’s wildest dreams.  But at what cost?  Used to be when you walked into a Mom n Pop store chances were the proprietor and staff knew you by name, where you lived, and what you did for a living.  Your kids and theirs probably played together and went to the same school.  You didn’t have to produce two forms of ID or prove you weren’t a criminal just to pay with something other than cash. There was nobody standing at the door to search you and inspect your receipts because if by chance you did steal something, within a few hours the whole community would know about it.  Same if you bounced a check.  You made good on it because if you didn’t you wouldn’t be shopping there or anyplace else nearby again.  There was something called customer service at these places.  If you had a question there was usually somebody who worked there who could answer without giving any attitude about it.  They were knowledgeable about the products they sold.  If you had an issue chances were you would be talking to the owner to get it resolved rather than some underling who was more interested in getting into the pants of the hot new deli clerk than taking care of your pissy little gripe.  These stores were owned by locals.  The owners were involved in the community where the store was located.  They were members of the chambers of commerce.  They understood all the little ins and outs of the area where they lived.  They sponsored the little league teams, they were active in the local politics, and contributed back into the community.  They knew that without community support their business was toast.  The jobs these small businesses provided may not have paid much, but you learned genuine skills like customer service and product knowledge over learning an employees handbook that reads like a list of courtroom punishments for failing to toe the company line.   How they ran their business reflected all that as opposed to the big chains where the bottom line is everything, profits go back to corporate, and the only people who need appeasing are the stockholders.  Keep the prices low enough and nobody will give two shits how you treat the community.

But it’s not like that no more.  The Wally Marts, the Home Depots, the McDonalds have a strangle hold on the retail industry now.  They have the money, the buying power, the marketing, and the backing of government.  Are they successful?  Damn sure are!  Should we be proud of what they have accomplished?  George H.W. Bush made it to President.  His family made a fortune in the oil industry.  His father attempted to overthrow the government  when FDR was president, failed but was never prosecuted.  His son, a drunken lout, was elected president twice, left us embroiled in two wars, and essentially created a working police state.  The Bush family is wealthy and successful.  Anybody proud of them?

The days of the small stores, of individualism, of entrepreneurship, are pretty much over, at least at the retail level.  Sure, you may be able to start up a small store someplace and make a go of it for some time.  But you know damn well that down the road, over at the shopping center, your customers will still be rioting over $2 waffle makers no matter how much you try to please them.  It’s the way things are like it or not.

One of things I love about Key West is despite the influx of many of these national chains, there are still enough local mom n pop stores around to keep  Key West what Key West is.  But as the Fast Buck Freddies disappear and are replaced with more mainstream brands, we lose a little more of what Key West was.  WalMart, if it ever comes here, and I suspect it will eventually, will just add to the loss.  We just don’t need it.

Capt. Fritter

If y’all would pay attention and take up the minimalist lifestyle we wouldn’t be dealing with all this now would we?

Dolphin…also know as porpoise, an aquatic mammal rivaling humans in intelligence.  They live all over the planet and are popular in media and culture in such shows as Flipper.  They are also popular in sea world type shows for performing tricks.  These dolphin are non aggressive toward humans and non edible…

They are also believed to be the second most intelligent creatures on Earth behind mice and ahead of humans.  See “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” for further details.

Dolphin…also known as mahi mahi.  A popular game fish in the southern waters off Florida.  These dolphin are tremendous fighters and a prized catch among anglers.  They can get up to 4 or 5 feet in length and are some of the best eatin’ fish on the planet.  The meat is very mild and the filets are thick as any steak.  Broiled or grilled in a lemon/butter/garlic sauce with some corn on the cob, a side of garlic bread, and some conch fritters, and key lime pie for dessert is the recommended recipe.  Anyone who fries this fish should be fried in the same oil themselves.  If you’ve never had any you are missing out on a special treat…

Dolphin…Miami…a species of football team that hasn’t been relevant since 1983.  Perennial losers, they have not been able to find a suitable quarterback since Dan Marino retired.  Reports from Jets and Patriots players say they are delicious.

Hope that clears things up for everyone.

Capt. Fritter

Don’t shop at walmart.

“So long and thanks for all the fish”….D. Adams

There is a rumor floating that the Kmart in Marathon may be shutting down.  Considering that all the Kmarts are in trouble it’s not surprising.  The entire chain and it’s parent, Sears have been predicted by many way more smarter than this fritter to be going toes up before the end of the year.  Right now there are 3 Kmarts in the Keys…Key Largo, Marathon, and Key West.  They always seem crowded at least when I’ve been by.  The stores do serve a purpose in they provide a lot of things for sale that you people who dwell on solid land take for granted.  Housewares, linens, cheap clothes, that sort of thing.  I go there now and then.  I bought my current bike there along with a few accessories.  Beyond that I rarely stop in other than to maybe replace a pillow or towel.  For the most part, what they carry can be had elsewhere.  The downside of these stores is they are poorly run and kept.  The stores are dirty, merchandise is rarely priced or marked correctly, and customer service is non existent.  All three are located in high profile shopping centers so no doubt the rents and property taxes are high.  Don’t know if it is true that the Marathon store is closing but it wouldn’t be surprising.  What’s a bit alarming is the trend of stores in the Keys closing down…Albertsons, Fast Buck Freddies, and now possibly Kmart.  What will replace them remains to be seen but you can bet Wally Mart is eyeing up the situation.  It will be a sad day in the Conch Republic if that company moves in.  If there is one chain that epitomizes the exact opposite of all the Keys are and were, it would be Walmart.  For those of you who don’t live here and have a feel for the lifestyle you wouldn’t understand.

If you weren’t very fond of paying $20 a pound for stone crab claws you are going to hate paying $30 a pound.  Yesterday was the last day of the season and there won’t be no more fresh claws until the middle of Oct.  If you never had stone crab it’s a delicacy I highly recommend.  They rank right up there with lobster and other good shellfish.  Steamed in water with garlic and some old bay seasoning, dipped in butter, we are talking some good eatin’.

Speaking of seafood, there are two fishing charter boats who dock right outside my front door.  Both of these boats are about 38ft. long, fully equipped for a crew of 2 and 6 passengers with galley and sleeping quarters, and plenty of rigging for fishing.  Keep in mind these boats run on diesel and pay about $1 more per gallon of fuel than you would pay on land.  I’m not sure what they charge for these charters but they are heading out for multi day charters day in and day out with a full paying group of passengers.  They go out to the Tortugas,  wherever the fish are and easily run over a hundred miles or more.  When they come in they have coolers full of fish…snapper, wahoo, dolphin, and now that they are back in season, grouper.  Obviously these guys know what they are doing.  Unless there is a full blown gale coming through they are heading out again and again with another boat full.  Nice to see some parts of the economy are doing that well.

Memorial Day weekend is coming up in a week and a half and if you’ve never been it is one of the busiest weekends on the water in the Keys rivaling Sportsman Season at the end of July.  If you are coming down be prepared for really bad traffic on land and water, stepped up law enforcement, and higher prices for lodging and other things.

Personally I’m not sure if I’ll be on the island or not that weekend.  I may make my annual road trip up north to see family.  It all depends on how things work out over the next week.

Capt. Fritter

It’s easy, Just get some boards and hit the beach….Right?…

Well, no, it’s not really that easy. The fact is, getting a stand up paddle board business going is just like any other business. It takes planning, preparation, some education, and that other thing everyone tends to forget about. What was it? Oh yeah, Money! Lots of money.

There is a lot more to this business than meets the eye so before you start it would pay to study and learn a few things. Otherwise it could get very costly. And that is basically what this article is about. Giving a few tips and tricks to any would be entrepreneurs or existing businesses looking to grow.

This article is neither encouraging nor discouraging anyone from starting their own paddle board rental business. It is written to provide you with as much information as possible to help you decide if this is the business for you and what you may encounter as you start out. I encourage you to check out other rental websites and if possible visit them to see how they operate. At the very least go see how other paddle board operations are doing in your area. I’ll discuss this in more detail later in the article. So, let’s get started:

Making your hobby your business…You love stand up paddle boarding. Absolutely love it. You go out paddling every chance you get. You love hanging out at the local board shop looking at all the new gear. Wouldn’t it be cool to be doing it for a living? Well, maybe not so much. If I was to give one piece of advice to anyone looking to start any business it would be to never make your hobby your career. Why? You will end up hating your hobby. It has happened to me twice, and I am on my third try. (I never listen to my own advice). My first love was scuba diving. All I wanted to do for years was move to Florida and scuba dive. So I did. Came down and got certified. Loved it so much I took a very low paying job in a local shop just so I could be in the business all the time. And I was, in the business, allllll the time. It didn’t take long to discover that if you are in the scuba diving business you do everything, except dive. And when you do, it is usually leading a pack of new divers who you have to baby sit over lest someone drown or get eaten alive. You get to clean up and repair all the gear afterwards and still handle selling and other shop duties. It got old and stale real quick. I can’t remember the last time I was even in the water to dive.

The second time was when I got my first motorcycle. Loved it. Rode everywhere. Decided to to go to a motorcycle trade school and get into the business. I got to ride plenty but the business completely took over my life. After 20 years, I got out and have I no desire to ride again. It’s a shame because the passion I had for scuba and motorcycles at the time was incredible.

Now I am in the paddling business. I still love paddling, kayaks, stand up paddle boards, but I find myself paddling a whole lot less than before I got into the business. All I can say is, if you truly enjoy paddling, be aware you may not enjoy it so much a few years down the road after being in the business.

So where to start?…There is an old adage in business that still rings true today, “Find a need and fill it”. Before you spend a single dime you need to determine if there is an actual demand for the services you are about to offer. It is important to be objective and honest to yourself in this process. It is far easier to fill a need than it is to create one.

How much paddling is going on in the area you want to work in? How easy is access to the water? How many levels of government do you have to go through to meet any legal requirements? Again, trying to create a need when there is none can be a futile and expensive effort. On the other hand, if you hear people constantly talking about wanting to rent paddle boards but no one is doing it, then go for it.

The other aspect to check out is how many other companies are already in the business in your area. Are there a couple of large surf shops operating in the area? Are there 3 or 4 small rental operations established on the beach? If so, then there may not be room for another. If you come in and open up in competition with other established rental programs, that doesn’t mean the pie is going to get any bigger, it just means that everyone will get a smaller slice. There will always be a competitor but if the market is saturated, opening up another business will only cause ill feelings and waste a lot of money.

Let me give a bit of advice here on competing. Never go into business with the intention of putting someone else out of business. Say for example, someone at your local board shop pissed you off for some reason. So to get revenge, you are going to open another shop and “put them out of business”. Well, you are not going to put them out of business and that is wrong reason to go into business. You should only be going into business to make money and do what you enjoy doing. If you are unhappy with an existing business, just stop doing business with them. As for putting them out of business, the only ones who do that for a living are governments, and they hate competition.

If the market looks to be saturated consider talking to an existing rental operation about working with them. Perhaps they need some extra help or they may be thinking about an additional location. It may provide you with the opportunity to get in to the business without spending a bunch of money. It would also give you the chance to get a feel for the business and then you can decide if it is what you want to do. No matter what, plan carefully and be sure there is a need and a place for your business before you make the jump.

What kind of business model is best?…At the moment there appears to be three types of rental operations that are the most popular. There may be more out there but for this article we’ll stick with these three.

The Mobile Operation: Probably the easiest and cheapest to set up. Most are operated out of the owners home but all business is conducted at the water. The mobile operation involves a vehicle, loaded with boards and gear, and traveling to the launch points for the rentals. This is the type of rental operation I had for two years in the upper Keys. It worked extremely well as customers would call, reserve boards, I would deliver and pick up when they were done. I wasn’t tied to specific hours or locations. Out of habit I kept boards on my vehicle all the time in case someone would call for a rental.

Pros: It’s an easy operation to set up. You need a dependable vehicle capable of holding the fleet of boards you want to carry. Your inventory can be controlled to have only the boards and gear you need. No set hours if you don’t want them. It makes an ideal set up for a part time gig. Say you have a regular job during the week, then you can limit your rentals to just the weekend. It can be run by just one person.

Cons: You had better be a marketing whiz or you may be just hauling around a fleet of boards for no reason. It can get real lonely when the phone doesn’t ring. The money may not be as steady as other models. Business licenses can be tricky if you are trying to operate out of your home. Especially on the local level. You may have to add a business address. Make sure you can keep your fleet at home. Watch out for HOA’s and landlords who don’t allow businesses on their property. No set hours may mean some early morning or late night drop offs and pick ups. Leaving rental gear at other locations out of site may increase the possibility of theft or mysterious damage. Protect yourself and get deposits.

Fixed Base Operation: Any rental operation that works at the same location or locations everyday. It may be a certain area of beach, a park, or a resort that offers amenities to it’s guests. You are there everyday depending on the length of the paddling season in your area and have set hours to rent out your boards. Some places like resorts may have a small building or tiki hut you can operate out of and maybe an area where you can securely store your boards and gear without having to drag them back and forth every day. Some areas like beaches may just give you a certain area you can operate in and you will need to bring your gear along with any support equipment.

Pros: A fixed location usually means a captive audience. This is especially true in a resort setting. It can save you some time and money in marketing. If it is a particularly popular resort or area the money can be extremely good. If you are working at a resort it may afford you the opportunity to add other revenue streams like kayak rentals or small sailboats.

Cons: Getting into some of these beaches, parks, and resorts is not easy. Most beaches and parks are run by the local governments. Permits are expensive and hard to get, usually in an auction type setting, meaning a lot of expense to make up if you get the permit. Resorts love to add amenities for their guests but they are going to want a cut of the revenue. Expect to sign an complicated lease and be prepared to hand over a significant amount of your rental income for the privilege of using their facilities. Once your hours of operation are set you will have to be there all the time. At least during the season. Bad weather aside, there are no sick days, no running around to do errands, you will be expected to be there everyday plying your trade. Expect to pay more for things like insurance as most governments and resorts will require more than the minimum. Higher class resorts will want to see nice shiny new boards and gear so don’t go in with a fleet of half broken chipped slices of fiberglass. Respect the resorts standards. You will have to jump through a lot of hoops to get a choice location. And there is always someone right behind you ready to out bid you for your location. The upside is if you do score a good spot the money can be very good. The key is to provide top notch service and keep the customers safe and happy. Just be prepared to work for it.

The Retail Operation: The big one. This is the model to use if you are going to be in the business for the long haul. It is by far the most expensive to open and maintain. The retail operation is based in a brick and mortar building, (or bamboo and palm fronds if you live in the tropics). It is designed so customers come to you for your services. If you are able to find a location on or near the water it gives you an incredible advantage in terms of what you can offer your customers. High traffic areas such as strip malls or near other popular spots are also desirable.

Pros: A retail operation opens up a variety of other revenue streams that are not available in the other two models. In addition to rentals you can now add board sales, gear sales, clothing, accessories, and other related sports such as skateboards, surfboards, kite boarding, kayaks, and more. You are limited only by your own budget and floorspace. And even that can be overcome with an effective online store. Building a retail empire gives a sense of pride of ownership and accomplishment. To be able to start with a small store and build it into a multi site operation with a recognizable name in the industry is no small feat and something to be proud of.

Cons: And there are many. This is a very costly endeavor. You will need to have sales training, inventory control, book keeping beyond the basics, and management experience. You have to find a building to suit your needs, get permits, inspections, licenses, insurance, leases, display furnishings, office supplies, and a serious web presence. And then you will need inventory to sell. You will probably need to hire employees, which means payroll, more taxes, and more insurances. If there are other stores already established you may not be able to get the better brand name lines of gear that you want to sell. You will have set hours, and you will have to be there when the store is open, no matter what. When everyone else is out having fun at the paddlefest, you will be working the counter making sales. You will be dependent on other people running the business, handling sales and rentals, while your time is consumed by the daily runnings of the business. Finding dependable, trustworthy, employees is a whole other task unto itself. The retail operation will take over your life. And should it fail, it can be a very expensive proposition as you try to break leases, end sales contracts, and dispose of inventory. But if you can make a go of it, and are willing to sacrifice the time and money, it can be one of the most fulfilling things you can do in your life. But definitely not the easiest.

So what kind of equipment does a rental operation need?…It’s really a trick question. What kind of business model you are using, what is your budget, what kind of room do you have for storage, and what brands are available all figure into the mix. As an example, I kept my little mobile operation small. I carried a maximum of 6 boards, 6 paddles, 6 pfd’s, a couple dry bags, and some leashes. I would carry a couple extra pfd’s for myself or if needed as spares, some minor repair and spare parts, extra tiedown straps and pads, a few minor things like floating sunglass holders or dry bags for cell phones. Customers appreciate the little extras if you can give them. As for the best brands to carry? That is in the eye of the beholder. I went through 4 different board companies before I found the brand I really liked and suited my needs (HovieSup). Your particular needs and tastes will be different. Try as many different boards as you possibly can before settling on any particular model. Look at where you will be operating and what kind of paddling will be involved. Surfing? Flat water? Long distance? Are you working on a sandy beach, or rocks and concrete seawalls. Would epoxy boards work the best or plastic hold up better? Remember how you would put a small scratch or ding in your board every time you went out? Multiply that by a thousand and you get an idea of how much abuse a rental board takes. Be prepared to rotate older boards out of stock on a regular basis and replace them with new boards. As for finding the boards you need a simple search on the internet will lead you to all the manufacturers. If possible, I highly recommend going to any surf shows you can find to see and talk to manufacturers. The Surf Expo, held in Orlando, Florida every Sept. and Jan. is an excellent show to attend. The Outdoor Retailer Show held in Salt Lake City, Utah in August is the biggest of them all. Or just go to any local race or paddle event and look at all the different boards and gear. Ask questions, demo if possible and decide which would work best for you. One extremely important point on gear. Cheap ain’t better. Do not choose your gear based on price alone. Your rental gear will be put to extreme use and it pays to have quality boards and paddles that can stand the abuse it will get at the hands of renters.

What about business licenses, insurance, and all that legal stuff?…Here is where the really tricky part begins. Every state, every county, every local government may have different requirements to start and run a business. You may have to have special training, extra insurance, or inspections. You need to research everything before you get started. I was able to get a business license in Monroe County, the one which covers the Keys, in less than half an hour. When I went to Miami/Dade, it took two hours just to explain what a stand up paddle board was. Very frustrating. If you are not sure what is required go and ask questions at the license office or see what is available online. Enlisting the help of a good CPA or attorney can save you a lot of time especially if they like to paddle board too.

Most government entities now use online forms to do things like pay taxes, update contact information and more. For the most part they are pretty easy to use but if you are unfamiliar with this stuff get some help. The government doesn’t care about your business. Just the money it gets from it.

What is the best business entity?…Sole proprietorship, LLC, partnership, that is up to you but again, get some legal advice on what fits best for your situation.

As for liability insurance. Yes, you need it, and don’t even try to run a rental business without it. How much you will need will again depend on your situation. As I mentioned earlier, if you tie in with a resort you may need more than the minimum. The upside so far, is that stand up paddle boarding has had a very good safety record and insurance can be affordable compared to more extreme sports. For example, I paid $789 per year for up to six boards through these guys, OIG. That comes out to about $125 per board per year. But shop around and see what you can find. You can save money on insurance by going above and beyond what they may require in safety. Requiring pfd’s w/whistles on all your paddlers is a good start. Having a good release of liability, declaration of health, and filled out properly by all renters is critical. Maintaining your equipment and gear, and observing basic common sense safety practices helps too. It’s a sue-happy world so it’s best to prepare for it.

Training…There is more to renting paddleboards than just taking a renters money and throwing them in the water. You need to be able to provide instruction, perhaps guide a tour, and be able to repair equipment. You will need to take a CPR and First Aid class too. If possible, consider taking a full blown lifeguard class so you can be prepared for any emergency. Know the areas you are paddling in, currents, weather, tides, routes, and wildlife. People will look to you as the expert in what you are doing so you had better be prepared.

Marketing…No one is going to be a better promoter of your business than you. Be prepared to brush up on your social media skills using Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, and SupConnect. Get on these sites and post often. Your name needs to be out there all the time. Join the local Chamber of Commerce. Do some footwork and go door to door at the local resorts. Get a waterproof camera and take lots of pictures and video of smiling happy customers and post them. Deal with customer issues promptly and honestly. Nothing will kill a business faster than poor customer service. There is another old adage: If someone likes you they’ll tell 3 people. If they hate you, they’ll tell 10. And those figures are probably magnified now through the power of the Internet. And finally, the most important of all. Get a website or better yet, a blog. You cannot run a business in this day and age without one. It is probably the most important part of marketing any business. If you know how, build it yourself. If not, find someone who knows how and get to work on it. (Like yours truly for example). It is your online storefront.

Money and Financing…I am the last person to be telling you anything about how to finance a rental operation. I did mine on a wish, and a high interest credit card. I will say this however. The single most common cause of the failure of any business is a lack of start up capital. You are going to need enough money to get your business set up, buy boards and gear, obtain business licenses, insurance, computer, website, and a whole lot more. You will also need enough money to live on until the business starts to turn a profit and provide some income, or at least pay for itself. Figure on needing a minimum of 2 years worth of income to survive until then. You may have to make your business a part time gig while working another job to stay afloat.

There are many ways to get money to start a business: savings, robbing your retirement fund, using a credit card as I did, obtaining a loan from a bank or similar institution. Just make sure your finances are prepared and you have good credit before you jump into anything. The worse thing you can do is start a business without enough money to run the business and keep yourself going. Be prepared for some hard times and even then don’t expect to get fabulously wealthy overnight.

Make a business plan ahead of time and be realistic on how much money you will actually bring in..then divide that in half and subtract 10%. It may seem all wonderful and exciting at first, but in six months when the bills are due and your boards are gathering dust in the garage, well, you have been warned.

So where am I in all this? Yes, I have shut down my rental business. A combination of financing, problems with my living arrangements, an opportunity to move to Key West, and a desire to move in a different direction have put me where I am today. Blogging, building websites, and talking about paddling online. Will I get back into the rental business? Who knows. Maybe, if the right situation comes along. At least I have a much better idea of what to expect if I do. For now, I’m content with blogging about it.

Scared? Dazed? Confused? Good. You should be. It’s just getting started. This article only barely scratches the surface of what is involved in starting and running a successful stand up paddle board operation. It’s not as easy as it looks or sounds. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication, and lots of that money thing I mentioned. As I said before, this article is neither to encourage or discourage you from going into business. It just gives you the basics of what to expect. The decision is yours. Do the research, work out your business plan, and make it happen. If you can make a go of it, it can be a fun and exciting way to make a living. And you might even make a buck or two along the way.

Capt. Fritter

Nothing fancy here, just a nice simple guide to stand up paddle boarding here in the Keys.  There are chapters on board basics, paddles and gear, a very brief how to stand up paddle, followed by tips on the Keys themselves with sections on the weather, water, plant, and animal life.  In the final chapter I’ve listed a bunch of popular and public launch sites along with some tips on places to go.  And finally some links to state parks and other resources.  All that for the incredibly low price of $.99.  A bargain at twice the price.  Here is the link…

or try the text link…

The EGuide To Stand Up Paddle Boarding In The Florida Keys – Capt. Steve Neil

I won’t be giving J.K Rowlings or Stephen King a run for their money but hey, you gotta start somewhere.  Pretty cool, the PedalFritter app last week…

PedalFritter – Steve Neil

And now the ebook.  Gettin’ a regular empire going here.  Check them both out.

Capt. Fritter

Kinda fitting that it came through on the same weekend as the race.

Capt. Fritter

I came down and took a bunch of shots of the beach action and then when the race started I followed them around the island on my bike stopping at Mallory Square and Cow Key bridge to catch some more of the action.  It was all I could do to keep up with the leaders as I followed them around.  I ran into a lot of friends I met when I ran a paddle board company up in Key Largo.  Always nice to see how they are doing.  I didn’t catch any of the final standings or times.  All that will be posted on the race website here later on.

A few interesting side notes.  This year PFD’s or life jackets were required for the first time.  The Coast Guard is cracking down on paddle boards without life jackets so it was a requirement for this race.

The crowd this year was much smaller than the last couple of years.  Not sure why but I noticed fewer paddlers and some of the more exotic paddle boards and kayaks didn’t show up this year.  It’s a shame as this year had the nicest weather in the last three.

Anyways, here are a bunch of shots of the event.  Enjoy…

Capt. Fritter

But, as you may well expect, much like a diarrhetic bovine, the shit is flying from the mouths of those who would force our world back into a medieval theocracy of slavery and ignorance.  Among the more imaginative rants is this one where some baptist preacher claims that if same sex marriage is legal then we can be free to marry ice cream.  No, I’m serious.  I’m not a good enough writer to think up something that insane.  Go to the link and watch the video for yourself.  Now I will admit though, that I’ve had impure thoughts anytime I’m near a hot fudge sundae, but that’s another story for another time.  The long term relationship there lasts until I’ve licked that last few luscious sensuous drops from the bottom of the bowl.

"How you doin'?"

I’m not gay.  I don’t really care one way or another if somebody is gay or straight.  I have life long friends who are gay.  I lost a cousin who was gay to AIDS.  And I live in Key West, a community known for it’s gay population.  At this very moment I’m sure there are gay couples living right here on this very island.  Married, living together, having sex, and doing all the other things that straight couples do. Including contributing to the economy and raising children.  I sat down and tried to calculate how the fact that there are same sex couples getting married affects my life.  I took in all the data, figgered out all the permutations, and consulted the highest authorities and came up with the final figure…..”0″.  Zero, nil, nada.  The fact that same sex couples or even opposite sex couples are getting married has absolutely no effect on my life what so ever.  I simply do not care.  It concerns me not.  The only relationship I am interested in is whatever current relationship I am in and trying to get out of after realizing that out of 3.5 billion wimmen I’ve yet again chosen another daughter of evil and crazy.  Worrying about whether two guys or two wimmen are involved in their own little life is none of my business.

The fact that the president has come out in favor of same sex marriage is a big step forward towards actually having a civilized modern society around here.  It don’t matter if some view it as a political ploy to gain votes, the barn door has been open and you ain’t going to get this cat back in the bag.  But there is still a long fight ahead.  30 states have an outright ban on same sex unions.  Three have taken things a bit further.  North Carolina has not only banned same sex unions but ALL civil unions.  Good luck enforcing that one.  Tennessee has decided that conception starts by the third beer and Utah has decided to simply deny the existence of sex altogether, refusing to even discuss the subject in schools.

The upside of all this is that as long as those opposed to evolving and moving forward as a species continue to show their ignorance by comparing relationships to dairy products,  more people will come to the conclusion that allowing a significant portion of the population to enjoy the same rights as everyone else is a pretty good idea.  It’s a stupid fight on the part of those opposed and takes attention away from more important things like the economy, the environment, and the occasional flare up of thermonuclear global destruction.  If those opposed were to actually shove their ideological bullshit back where it came from and joined the rest of the population who is a bit more advanced up the evolutionary ladder, we could probably make this a pretty decent place to live for everyone, no matter who they they chose to be with.  Time to end the discrimination and move on.

Capt. Fritter

i could sure go for some ice cream right now.